Mental Health

It is no accident that I named this blog as I did; I have always felt that my neuroses were a gift, that they were the source of my uniqueness and ability to see beyond the boundaries of life as we know it. However, those who walk around with their head in the clouds have a habit of stubbing toes and falling off cliffs; I hit such an impediment recently and have officially decided that I need some medicine and/or therapy to take the edge off some of my more debilitating conditions. Ultimately, my insights into possible higher realities and ways of exploring them, either with our imaginations or through miraculous technological advancement, do little good if I am so thoroughly paralyzed by the miseries of my day-to-day existence that I am never able to actually work on organizing my thoughts into some sort of coherent useful structure. An aversion to structure and an aversion to medicine have been parts of who I felt I was in the past, but for the first time I'm aware of, I have deliberately rather than subconsciously opted to discard these notions and try to steer the direction of my personal evolution toward something slightly easier to live with. If this experiment does produce a notable diminution in my creative or imaginative abilities, then I will worry about figuring out how to keep the two in balance; for now, my long-standing assumption that mundanity would take a mile if I gave it an inch has proved itself too much not-fun for me to maintain it any more. I believe I shall still be equally blessed by madness even after I've discarded one or two relatively boring components of my neurosis; the idea that they were all inextricably interlinked no longer rings true to me.